


Hold Me

by obviouslyelementary



Series: Hold Me [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Garak's POV, Gen, Hold Me - Series, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Julian's POV, M/M, Romance, Sweet, The Quickening, The Wire - Freeform, Two Shot, self challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26267593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: A series of two shots fanfics about pairings (either romantic or platonic) reacting or requesting to being held.Part 1 - Garashir
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: Hold Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908433
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	1. Julian

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came out of nowhere and I'm proud of myself for it

He was so tired.

No, he wasn't tired. He was exhausted.

Never in his life had he felt so small, so useless and vulnerable as he did now. No, Julian Bashir, second in his class by his own choice, genetically advanced, no, he couldn't settle for just saving the next generation of a planet, he had to save them all.

The Quickening was the sickest, most horrible disease he had ever heard of. It made his skin crawl, specially after he had seen it with his own eyes, stayed alone taking care of a woman who didn't even get to hold or feed her baby before she passed away. He failed her, he failed their entire planet, no matter how thankful they were for saving the next generation of babies that were about to be born. It didn't matter, he had to be better, he had to do better.

He was made for this, why couldn't he find the cure? Why couldn't he...

Julian was pulled away from his thoughts the moment the infirmary doors opened. He lifted his eyes from the computer, getting his med kit ready for whoever was coming inside. He was supposed to be in bed right now, this wasn't his shift, but he was so angry and so determined to find something he hadn't before that he sent all his nurses and doctors away and stayed, alone, at the infirmary. The night shift was always quiet, and he wasn't in the mood for sleep anyway.

When he turned around, ready to attend to whoever would be waiting for him, his tired eyes made contact with the sky blue ones he hadn't seen in weeks, and felt all his doctor façade fade away.

He knew Garak wasn't sick. He never was, and even if he was, he would have never come to the infirmary to get it checked out. So, there was only one reason why he was there, and Julian was not a fan of it.

"Leave. I'm working" he said, immediately, turning around again to get himself back to work, but Garak did not leave. Of course not. He walked slowly towards the doctor, checking his researches over his shoulder, and Julian was too tired to intervene.

"I see... I heard about your little adventure in the Gamma quadrant" Garak said behind him, and Julian ignored him completely, tapping some more information into the computer. "The quickening... commander Dax told me all about it."

"Great. Get out" he repeated himself, checking the virus' genetic code, trying to find any way of getting a hold of it. Of course Garak didn't leave, but the moment his hands touched Julian's shoulders in the same way they did in the first day they met, the doctor felt a wave of anger swipe all thoughts out of his hand, and he responded by standing up and slapping Garak away. "I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!"

He was tired. He was exhausted. He wanted to stop and cry all night long for the people he couldn't save, for the people he lost, for the cruelness of the dominion. But he couldn’t, because if he slept, another thousand people would die, and he needed to save them. No matter how long it took.

But now, looking at Garak, his calm expression and knowing eyes, everything seemed so... pointless.

"Julian..." the cardassian whispered, sounding careful, gentle, something that was very Garak and at the same time, not him at all. There was no false malice, no second intentions, just sympathy. Something Julian didn't want.

It was enough to break all his walls, however, and his eyes teared up immediately.

"I couldn't save them..." he whispered, his sore muscles relaxing under the release of tension, the tears sliding down his cheeks as he was unable to lift his hands to wipe them away. "I killed so many of them... and they were so thankful... they... I..." he sobbed, he couldn't speak anymore, and since Garak did not move a single muscle, Julian himself cut the distance, pressing his face to the cardassian's neck, wrapping his arms around his waist and crying.

It took him a second, but Garak wrapped his arms around him as well, pulling him closer. He said nothing, unlike what Julian first thought he would do, but his gentle and cold hands slid through Julian's hair and down his back, and their bodies were tight and close together, in such a comfortable manner that the doctor swore he would never let go.

They didn't speak, not until Julian's tears were done flowing and he calmed down, hot face pressed against Garak's cold skin, making him calmer, connected to the moment. Only then they sat down on a biobed, close to each other, and Julian allowed Garak to talk to him about a random book he had been reading, something to take his mind off of everything.

He ended up falling asleep with Garak's voice as a background, the stress and anger slipping away as he allowed himself to drift off. He was tired, so very tired, and even Garak's firm scales and ridges seemed like a comfortable pillow. He just needed some time, some comfort, some rest.

Maybe tomorrow, he would find the cure.

Maybe tomorrow...


	2. Garak

Even though the object was removed or... turned off or whatever it was inside his head, it still wasn't easy to go on with life without a constant release of endorphins on his system. He still felt angry at every side glance he received, every threating look, every disgusted huff. Sometimes, Garak even found inside himself the actual need for the sweet release of death, and if it wasn't for how deeply rooted his duties and love for Cardassia were, he would have killed himself a long time ago.

But now, oh, even now, with a new object of affection to look towards, with that sweet, sweet doctor always around him, eating lunch with him, sharing stories, laughing, and even destroying every prejudice he might have about humans as a whole by being the kindest and most gentle soul Garak had ever met, even then, sometimes, Julian's approaches weren't enough to make him feel like turning off the device was worth it.

Being around the doctor ever since their relationship grew beyond friendship was more than a delight, it was becoming an addiction on itself. Only around him Garak was able to receive some stimuli from his brain that allowed him to have a peaceful moment, maybe even a few hours of tranquility. Apart from those moments when they were together, however, the world felt like a huge box that was constantly closing in on him, stealing his air and squeezing his body. And even worst, it was freezing cold.

So of course he became over irritable whenever Julian was out on duty. When Sisko decided it was good for everyone that the doctor left the station to go to some symposium or a mission in the gamma quadrant or even make a visit down on Bajor for vacation, whatever that meant. His dresses came out bended, his suits were not aligned, and Garak felt like the whole station could explode for all he cared whenever Julian was out of his reach.

Yes, maybe he was growing addicted to the doctor, and maybe that was just as bad as being addicted to the endorphins of his body. But as humans used to say, what better to make one forget about an addiction than finding another?

Garak sighed as he sewed another line in his newest bajoran dress. How long had Julian been away? Ten days? That sounded awfully too long and he was losing his own sense of self. The doctor had left one day before their usual lunch date, and even though they had seen each other, said their goodbyes, even shared a few heated kisses before the man had to leave, none of that satisfied Garak's hunger for warmth and happiness that the doctor brought him on a daily basis. So now, all he could do was drink a bunch of calming tea and wait for Julian to arrive back, whenever that would be.

When he heard the door to his establishment opening, another wave of frustration came over him. The door was signed as closed, it was late in the evening, and no one in their right mind should come into his store when he was in such a bad mood. But clearly, someone didn't care about all the warnings he was so kind to alert, and walked inside anyway, making his whole body react by tensing up, some of his scales even rising.

"I'm sorry, I am closed" he said, standing up from his sewing machine and turning to face his late costumer. He was about to tell them to get out when his eyes met sweet, kind, warm brown, and his scales flattened down in a needy, but imperceptible show of weakness. He took a moment to gather himself, not really wanting to show how badly he had dealt with the doctor's absence, a clear smile showing on his face. "My dear doctor."

"Garak" Julian breathed out, as if he had been holding his breath for a long time, and rushed to the cardassian in a hurry, holding his face and pressing their lips together in a hurried human kiss. Garak thought, for half a second, about pulling away and pretending, but he found himself unwilling to do so, his eyes closing and hands reaching for his doctor's slim waist, pulling him closer. When the kiss was broken, too soon for the cardassian's taste, Julian let out a breathless giggle and locked their eyes again, his own shining with happiness. "Oh god I was missing you so much! It was such a long mission, I-"

Garak didn't want to listen. His arms wrapped tightly around his doctor, and in another demonstration of weakness, he pressed his face to the human's neck and breathed him in, smelling him, allowing his lungs to get used to the smell he recognized so easily as his own Julian's. The doctor stopped talking, let out a soft chuckle, and wrapped his arms around Garak as well, pulling him closer to his warm body, brushing his nose into his hair and taking a deep breath.

"I missed you too, Garak" he whispered, and the cardassian closed his eyes, scales flat against his skin, fitting in perfectly in his favorite doctor's shape.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments and suggestions for pairings are welcomed


End file.
